editorial

Our Issue has Issues

As we go to press with this, our Oscar issue, we have no idea whether the Oscars will even take place.

With the writers' strike stretching on, the fate of the 80th annual Academy Awards has become as shaky as the plot of a Jerry Bruckheimer film.

The program’s producer, Gil Cates, insists the show will go on — but when asked how that’ll happen should the Writers Guild of America (WGA) not have a new contract by February 24th, he’s cagey. Giving it away, he says, would put their plan in jeopardy.

Those comments inspired wild, and humorous, speculation about the lengths Oscar’s producers would go to in order to keep the show alive. Guesses ranged from producing a cartoon version of the show, since animation isn’t covered by the WGA contract, to producing the show with Team America: World Police-style puppets filling in for actors not willing to cross the picket line. Too bad Matt Damon’s not hosting.

Famous offers a few more suggestions.

Hand the awards out on a first-come, first-served basis, weakening the actors’ resolve not to cross the picket line, and adding the hair-pulling, shirt-ripping, oh-no-you-di’nt excitement of a Thanksgiving sale at J.C. Penney.

Hire Quebecois master impressionist André-Philippe Gagnon to impersonate every single winner and presenter. The man best known for providing all 18 celebrity voices in his own version of “We are the World” is in no position to turn down such a gig — strike or not.

Turn the show over to a high school drama class, with students writing the script and playing the parts of host Jon Stewart, the presenters, winners and nominees. At times like these, we really should think of the children.

Whatever happens, we hope you enjoy the Academy Awards Section we’ve put together. Hey, it may be the only hit of Oscar glitz you get this year.

Our cover boy Will Ferrell has a new movie that, like most of his films, has no Oscar aspirations whatsoever. And that’s exactly why we love him. In “Good Sport” Ferrell swears Semi-Pro, about a ragtag basketball team, will be his last sports movie for a while.

Samuel L. Jackson is certainly not the type of actor who makes his decisions based on what the Academy will enjoy. He likes to work. And to have fun. And to have fun working. The latest result of that positive attitude to making movies is the sci-fi Jumper. To find out why he chose this particular role, check out “In Hot Pursuit.”

And finally, British actor David Morrissey plays uncle to Scarlett Johansson and Natalie Portman in The Other Boleyn Girl. In “All in the Family” Morrissey explains why he thinks of his character as a Tudor-era Dick Cheney.

—Marni Weisz