A re-working of "Candide" in which fresh-faced Gordie from northern Ontario is let loose on the big city of Toronto. When Gordie discovers his dog, Speedoh, is lost, he calls a phone-in psychic who reveals that the pooch is in Toronto. He heads for the city where he meets an aspiring hooker, Heidi, who is seeking career advice from a couple of faded porn stars whose greatest hit was "Who's Afraid of Vagina Woolf?" He then comes across an addled pot-head, an aging Brit rocker, and a gay guerrilla band that raises money for AIDS research by auctioning him off to a sleazy pimp. However, suddenly rich Heidi rescues him from the dangers of street hustling and reunites him with Speedoh.
Jamie Shannon, Elva Mai Hoover, Maria Vacratsis, Deborah Theaker, Mark McKinney, Sarain Boylan, Shelly Mars, Scott Thompson, Marc Hickox, Alex Karzis, Dan Redican, Dan Lett, Bruce LaBruce, Christopher Peterson, Bruce Deller, Daniel MacIvor, Jennifer Cluff